N - Nice - Just Be Nice

N - Nice - Just Be Nice

"N" is the next letter of the "YOUCANDOIT" acronym for our pathway to joy.  It stands for "nice" and sounds so simple, but sometimes it's REALLY hard to do.  My mother must have told me a million times to be nice when I was a little girl, (especially to my little sisters) and that advice is still what I need to hear sometimes.  You would think that as an adult you would grow out of the need to be told to be nice.  However,  I have realized I need reminding.  It's easy to be nice to those that are nice back.  The challenge comes in being kind to those that drive you crazy or to those that you don't think deserve it.

When I find myself angry at someone - whether it be family member, friend, or foe - I now say in my head, "what is something nice I can do?"  Doing something nice for that person has helped me feel better about them.  It may not fix the problem we have, but it softens my heart.  I can't change how they think or feel, but I can change how I feel which happens every time I do something nice.  It's amazing!

I was able to really put this into practice one day when I was volunteering for a marathon in our city.  My husband arranged for us to have a DJ at our aid station to help motivate the runners, as he runs several marathons a year and understands what helps lift their spirits, especially at about mile 21.  He had previously talked to the occupants of the homes where we were setting up the aid station and got permission to use their power outlets and made sure they were ok with the plans.  I'm not a runner so I was in charge of the aid station the morning of the race.  The DJ set up the music and we were all ready for when the first runner came down the street.  Since our aid station was in the last 1/3 of the race, it was after 8:00 AM before the first runner (a half-marathoner) came by.  As we saw the runner coming down the street the DJ blasted the theme music from the movie "Rocky".  It was AWESOME!!  You can't help but get pumped up when you hear that song!  After a few minutes there was a pretty steady stream of runners for the rest of the morning.

We were all having a great time handing out water & Gatorade when all of a sudden the couple from the next house down came out and started yelling at us for making such noise on a Saturday morning.  I don't know how they didn't know about the marathon because there had been signs out warning people about it for days, but they were not happy at all.  One of my friends went to talk to them, but to no avail.  They ended up calling the police a couple different times throughout the morning because they were so put out by all the commotion.  When the police didn't stop us, the couple came out and stood next to where the runners were passing by and started smoking.  Another time they got in their car and drove away, but on their way down the street they almost hit some of the volunteers.  They didn't even try to miss.  The kids had to jump out of the way of the moving car.  It was ridiculous.  Things like that went on for about 4 hours.  By the end, I had about had it with these people!  We were definitely in the right and they were nothing but immature!! At least that's how I saw it.

As I recounted the story to my husband, the people in charge of all the aid stations, and anyone else who would listen, I felt my feelings toward these people really become bitter and I wondered what we could do to make them see how ridiculous they were being.  Then it happened.  The words "just be nice" came into my head and I had to really try not to push them away.  I started wondering what I could do that would be nice and not vengeful.  The more I thought about it the kinder my options became until I finally decided on a plan of action, but it had to happen quickly or I would talk myself out of it.  I ended up going to a local theater to buy gift cards and delivered one to each of the houses that we imposed on.  The bitter couple wasn't home when I went, but my husband took it later and said he had a pretty good talk with them.  They seemed to soften up a little when he gave them the card.

The important thing isn't whether they ever saw their part in this episode, whether they like me or not or ever apologize. The thing I learned was that now every time I look back on that day I have to smile as I think about going to the theater to buy the gift cards.  I remember how it felt to think about how they might react to receive a gift card.  I didn't actually get to see their reaction, but I like to imagine what it might have been.  Maybe it's better in my imagination :)

Being nice softens our own heart and I believe that's a huge step toward joy!