O - Outside Every Day

O - Outside Every Day

Going outside every day seems like a pretty simple step to take in the journey toward joy.  It only gets  slightly difficult when it is pouring rain or snowing like crazy.  We have been told we are completely out of our minds when we are found walking in less than ideal conditions, but we smile and say, "Yes, we know we are insane."  Being crazy doesn't seem to bother or stop us, rather it has taught us that we can endure bitter storms.  It's hardest when I have had to walk alone and I have to confess that I have occasionally cut the walk short when left unaccompanied.

In the early years of walking our children to school, I learned how to appreciate the joy of being outside.  After the chaotic morning of getting the children ready to leave the house, we would walk toward school picking up our walking partners along the way.  We would share our frustrations of the morning as we walked.  One of my friends started saying, "This is my favorite time of the day" as she would look up at the sun coming over the mountains.  It was so refreshing to be around such a positive attitude.  No matter how difficult it was to get out the door, and with twins I know it wasn't easy to do, she always found joy in the emerging sunlight.

Sometimes the sun can't be seen, but there is always something good to find outside.  We have admired the geese as they head south for the winter, marveled at the size of beautiful snowflakes, been warmed by memories of the sun as we face bitter winds, and have waited with great anticipation for the budding of the flowers and trees.    It doesn't matter what the weather is, there is always evidence of God's hand all around us.  All we have to do is open our eyes and our hearts to receive His gifts.  Recognizing the miracles of nature all around us is balm to the soul.

Go outside and feel God's love!

D - Don't Forget You Can Do Hard Things

D - Don't Forget You Can Do Hard Things

This week I have been deeply touched by the many people I have witnessed doing REALLY hard things.  I don't think it's coincidence that this topic is the next one on my list of YOUCANDOIT steps to joy.  Each person I have come in contact with that has been dealing with a difficult issue has been doing so with such faith and hope.  They are great examples to me of doing hard things without losing sight of the big picture.

In the last 6 months alone, I have watched a dear friend dealing with having to receive a kidney transplant in the near future; a few others are either going through a divorce, just finalized a divorce, or on the brink of divorce; friends are struggling to balance home, work, school and church obligations; another just had a second surgery in about a 4 month period; death, infidelity, sickness from pregnancy, and a niece at the side of her husband who is fighting cancer (they are the parents of 4 amazing children, 3 of which are triplets).  What an inspiration they all are as they do these HARD things!!

How do you watch people around you doing extremely hard things without feeling guilty about thinking your problems are hard?  Satan would love nothing more than for us to compare our difficulties with each other because by so doing, we tend to put ourselves down.  We say to ourselves things like, "I don't suffer as gracefully as _______," or on the other extreme, "______ has a much easier life than I do."   Rather than feeling bad about ourselves I would suggest that we should learn from each other.  It would be much more productive to say: "I hope that I can learn to be as positive and smile like _______," or "I'm  happy for ______ because they seem to be having a break from major trials at the moment."

The fact is, no one leaves this life saying, "well, that was easy!"

Remember: just because it's hard doesn't mean you're doing something wrong, nor does it have to be someone's fault; it's just how life is.  We all have personal mountains to climb.   There are some challenges that we bring on ourselves because we have agency, and sometimes we make bad choices.  Other trials are just a part of living.  The point is, we can't and won't avoid all difficulties.  So when you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I can do hard things!"  You've done them before, so remember past experiences and use the lessons learned from them to make today even better.

Not one of my friends or family members facing these gigantic challenges is looking to be anyone's hero; they didn't ask to have to be an example of enduring.  Each day, they get up and just do their best with some days turning out better than others.  Sometimes I'm sure they don't see themselves as enduring well, but they just keep moving forward, taking one step at a time.  There are times when I personally have felt like the little engine trying to get up the mountain pulling a heavy load, saying to myself, "I think I can, I think I can."

When we are feeling overwhelmed with the burdens that either we carry ourselves or someone we love is carrying, here are some principles to keep in mind: no one can take away your personal challenges from you, but we can support and love each other through this difficult journey called life.  Be kind to each other because you may not know the heartaches someone else is suffering.  As you are helping others, your own burdens seem to lighten, and don't forget that it's ok to let others help lift you.  Let's be each other's cheerleaders!  We need each other!

REMEMBER YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!

N - Nice - Just Be Nice

N - Nice - Just Be Nice

"N" is the next letter of the "YOUCANDOIT" acronym for our pathway to joy.  It stands for "nice" and sounds so simple, but sometimes it's REALLY hard to do.  My mother must have told me a million times to be nice when I was a little girl, (especially to my little sisters) and that advice is still what I need to hear sometimes.  You would think that as an adult you would grow out of the need to be told to be nice.  However,  I have realized I need reminding.  It's easy to be nice to those that are nice back.  The challenge comes in being kind to those that drive you crazy or to those that you don't think deserve it.

When I find myself angry at someone - whether it be family member, friend, or foe - I now say in my head, "what is something nice I can do?"  Doing something nice for that person has helped me feel better about them.  It may not fix the problem we have, but it softens my heart.  I can't change how they think or feel, but I can change how I feel which happens every time I do something nice.  It's amazing!

I was able to really put this into practice one day when I was volunteering for a marathon in our city.  My husband arranged for us to have a DJ at our aid station to help motivate the runners, as he runs several marathons a year and understands what helps lift their spirits, especially at about mile 21.  He had previously talked to the occupants of the homes where we were setting up the aid station and got permission to use their power outlets and made sure they were ok with the plans.  I'm not a runner so I was in charge of the aid station the morning of the race.  The DJ set up the music and we were all ready for when the first runner came down the street.  Since our aid station was in the last 1/3 of the race, it was after 8:00 AM before the first runner (a half-marathoner) came by.  As we saw the runner coming down the street the DJ blasted the theme music from the movie "Rocky".  It was AWESOME!!  You can't help but get pumped up when you hear that song!  After a few minutes there was a pretty steady stream of runners for the rest of the morning.

We were all having a great time handing out water & Gatorade when all of a sudden the couple from the next house down came out and started yelling at us for making such noise on a Saturday morning.  I don't know how they didn't know about the marathon because there had been signs out warning people about it for days, but they were not happy at all.  One of my friends went to talk to them, but to no avail.  They ended up calling the police a couple different times throughout the morning because they were so put out by all the commotion.  When the police didn't stop us, the couple came out and stood next to where the runners were passing by and started smoking.  Another time they got in their car and drove away, but on their way down the street they almost hit some of the volunteers.  They didn't even try to miss.  The kids had to jump out of the way of the moving car.  It was ridiculous.  Things like that went on for about 4 hours.  By the end, I had about had it with these people!  We were definitely in the right and they were nothing but immature!! At least that's how I saw it.

As I recounted the story to my husband, the people in charge of all the aid stations, and anyone else who would listen, I felt my feelings toward these people really become bitter and I wondered what we could do to make them see how ridiculous they were being.  Then it happened.  The words "just be nice" came into my head and I had to really try not to push them away.  I started wondering what I could do that would be nice and not vengeful.  The more I thought about it the kinder my options became until I finally decided on a plan of action, but it had to happen quickly or I would talk myself out of it.  I ended up going to a local theater to buy gift cards and delivered one to each of the houses that we imposed on.  The bitter couple wasn't home when I went, but my husband took it later and said he had a pretty good talk with them.  They seemed to soften up a little when he gave them the card.

The important thing isn't whether they ever saw their part in this episode, whether they like me or not or ever apologize. The thing I learned was that now every time I look back on that day I have to smile as I think about going to the theater to buy the gift cards.  I remember how it felt to think about how they might react to receive a gift card.  I didn't actually get to see their reaction, but I like to imagine what it might have been.  Maybe it's better in my imagination :)

Being nice softens our own heart and I believe that's a huge step toward joy!

A - Act instead of reacting - resist becoming a martyr or victim

A - Act instead of reacting - resist becoming a martyr or victim

We have come to the "A" in our acronym YOUCANDOIT.  Along with standing for "act",  it could also represent "agency".  Using our agency for good has been a key component to finding joy since the beginning of time.  We become subject to others when we relinquish or give up our ability to act for ourselves and find that we have become the victims of our circumstances.  If we want to remain free to choose for ourselves we need to act according to the dictates of our own conscience.

I began my conscious journey to joy more than 10 years ago after having the experience that I explained in the "Y" post.  For the next couple months the desire to do something "rebellious" kept growing.  I'm not sure if it was really rebellion I was looking for or just the need to do something "wild" that was all about me.  One day while we were walking the perfect idea was born.  It was time for me to get my ears pierced!!! Not only was I going to take a walk on the wild side, but a new walking buddy decided to climb aboard the crazy train with me. We piled into my friend's van and headed to the local mall where our posse paraded to the Piercing Pagoda.  Five adult women with three children in tow.  From the look on her bedazzled face, the employee who was working that morning had not anticipated such a colorful crowd. :)

There we were, ready and anxious to get those holes punched into our otherwise plain earlobes.  I had always been proud of the fact that I didn't have my ears pierced, but at that moment I couldn't wait to change that.  It's a good thing I hadn't done it before because I'm not sure what I would've chosen to do as an act of independence otherwise. You would've thought we were a couple of young kids sneaking out of the house on a school night trying to prove our independence.  Piercing your ears just before your 39th birthday may not really sound like a great liberating move, but you'd be surprised at how freeing it really was.

When deciding what actions to take, it's important to differenciate between temporary pleasure and lasting joy.  Avoid making choices that go against your values and any covenants you have already made.  Joy comes from being true to yourself and the good choices that you have built your life on.  When faced with choices I often remind myself "just because you can doesn't necessarily mean you should", but if it isn't going to hurt anyone and if it will bring sunshine to your soul, I say, "Go for it!"