C - Create a Trustworthy Support System
Another step in our journey toward joy is "create a trustworthy support system". Everyone needs friends, no one needs to go through this journey of life, and the trials that come with it, alone. To illustrate this concept I'm going to use the examples of Joseph Smith and Jesus Christ. There may be some reading this blog who have never heard of Joseph Smith or have heard of him, but don't believe in his message. That's ok. Either way, the concepts apply.
Joseph Smith lived in the 1800's and was persecuted all of his life for claiming that he had seen a vision of God the Father and Jesus Christ. His family always believed him and stood by his side. His brother Hyrum was especially supportive of him. They were best of friends - inseparable in life and death. Joseph also had some very dedicated friends that stuck with him through thick and thin.
I had a light bulb moment this summer as we visited some jails that Joseph had been incarcerated in. It occurred to me that he was never imprisoned alone. Every time he was thrown in jail (even though he was innocent each time) he had friends there to support him, including his brother. I have visited these places countless times in my life, but this time it hit me like a rock - we don't have to endure alone!
My thoughts then turned to the Savior. He had his disciples with him through his ministry and even in the Garden of Gethsemane, angels were sent to comfort him. We don't have to do it alone!! We have angels all around us, whether seen or unseen, who are placed in our life to help us through our journey. They can't take our burdens away, but they can comfort us and give us strength so we can carry on.
We can learn a lot from these examples, but the thing that I want to focus on is the fact that there are people who believe in our ability to succeed and sometimes we need to let their support strengthen us in order to accomplish what we are asked to do.
A couple of my walking friends were cheerleaders in high school and I think that is one of their callings for life. On many occasions I have relied on their enthusiasm and love of life to cheer me on. Each one of my friends has gifts that I have needed at different times. During my ups and downs I have relied on the fact that they believe in me and that has given me the motivation to keep moving forward. Knowing someone believes in you makes hope grow and hope is a key to joy.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
U - Understand and Accept your Own Strengths and Weaknesses
U - Understand and Accept your Own Strengths and Weaknesses
We've briefly been through steps Y (yield your heart and will to God) and O (opportunities to serve/brighten someone's day) on our journey toward joy. Next is the U which stands for understanding and accepting your own strengths and weaknesses. When I was first putting this together I just had understanding them, but I decided to add the word accepting because we forget that part sometimes. We can't build on the good until we know exactly what we're dealing with.
In my previous "Y" post I explained about my experience with my friend helping me see who I am in God's eyes. Well, here's the rest of that story.
A couple days after that walk, my family went to a camp up in the mountains with a group of dear friends. During the few days we had there we went to a class that focused on the book "The Color Code" by Taylor Hartman. They had us do a personality test to figure out what color we are. The colors tell you what motivates you: red is motivated by power - they like to be in control, blue is motivated by intimacy - they like strong relationships, white is motivated by peace - they avoid conflict at all costs, and yellow is motivated by fun - they love life and just want to have fun.
Anyway, the timing of that class couldn't have been any better!! I took the test and found that I am almost completely white. It explained SO much!! As the teacher went through the strengths and weaknesses of the white personality it described me to a tee. In fact, some of the words he used were the exact words my friend had used just a few days before. It was a confirmation to me that what my friend had said was true. I was so excited to continue learning about ME. The miracle with this experience was, I didn't get discouraged reading about my weaknesses. I could accept them because right along with them were a bunch of strengths. The thing the teacher said that made the biggest difference for me was that ALL the colors are good. There isn't one that is better than another. For the first time in my life I believed that. I saw and truly accepted that I had something to offer.
Between the walk and that class I had just experienced a complete turning point in my life. At the time I didn't realize how important it was, but now, ten years later I can see what a huge impact that had on me.
There are many different kinds of personality tests and I've taken most of them just to try to understand myself better. It doesn't matter how you figure out your strengths and weaknesses, but I believe that it's important that you do somehow. Everyone is born with gifts and with challenges. Unfortunately, I think sometimes we compare ourselves to others and want to be the best of everyone around us, but we see in ourselves only our weaknesses. It's much easier to serve when you understand what it is you have to give. We can't truly love our neighbor until we love ourself.
Your joy will increase as your love for yourself grows!!
We've briefly been through steps Y (yield your heart and will to God) and O (opportunities to serve/brighten someone's day) on our journey toward joy. Next is the U which stands for understanding and accepting your own strengths and weaknesses. When I was first putting this together I just had understanding them, but I decided to add the word accepting because we forget that part sometimes. We can't build on the good until we know exactly what we're dealing with.
In my previous "Y" post I explained about my experience with my friend helping me see who I am in God's eyes. Well, here's the rest of that story.
A couple days after that walk, my family went to a camp up in the mountains with a group of dear friends. During the few days we had there we went to a class that focused on the book "The Color Code" by Taylor Hartman. They had us do a personality test to figure out what color we are. The colors tell you what motivates you: red is motivated by power - they like to be in control, blue is motivated by intimacy - they like strong relationships, white is motivated by peace - they avoid conflict at all costs, and yellow is motivated by fun - they love life and just want to have fun.
Anyway, the timing of that class couldn't have been any better!! I took the test and found that I am almost completely white. It explained SO much!! As the teacher went through the strengths and weaknesses of the white personality it described me to a tee. In fact, some of the words he used were the exact words my friend had used just a few days before. It was a confirmation to me that what my friend had said was true. I was so excited to continue learning about ME. The miracle with this experience was, I didn't get discouraged reading about my weaknesses. I could accept them because right along with them were a bunch of strengths. The thing the teacher said that made the biggest difference for me was that ALL the colors are good. There isn't one that is better than another. For the first time in my life I believed that. I saw and truly accepted that I had something to offer.
Between the walk and that class I had just experienced a complete turning point in my life. At the time I didn't realize how important it was, but now, ten years later I can see what a huge impact that had on me.
There are many different kinds of personality tests and I've taken most of them just to try to understand myself better. It doesn't matter how you figure out your strengths and weaknesses, but I believe that it's important that you do somehow. Everyone is born with gifts and with challenges. Unfortunately, I think sometimes we compare ourselves to others and want to be the best of everyone around us, but we see in ourselves only our weaknesses. It's much easier to serve when you understand what it is you have to give. We can't truly love our neighbor until we love ourself.
Your joy will increase as your love for yourself grows!!
Monday, January 20, 2014
O - Opportunities to Serve/Brighten Someone's Day
O - Opportunities to Serve/Brighten Someone's Day
One of the surest ways of finding joy is to get outside yourself and do something to brighten someone's day. You don't have to do something big and it doesn't have to take a lot of time, but thinking about how you can lighten someone else's load can ease your own burdens.
The year I turned forty was an especially difficult year. I was in the process of climbing out of my depression pit, but the fact that I was turning forty didn't help. My poor husband tried hard to do something nice and thoughtful for me to celebrate such a milestone (which I happen to hit before he did and that didn't help either), but his efforts backfired and I didn't respond well. All I could think about was "poor me - I'm an old lady now!" I dreaded that birthday more than I have ever dreaded anything in my life. I managed to make it through the day without withering away - barely - and to my amazement the day after my birthday was totally fine.
Since then I have learned that difficult times are made easier when I'm not thinking so much about myself. This year as I anticipate turning fifty I decided I need prevent a repeat of that disastrous birthday. For some reason fifty hasn't seemed quite as bad as forty and I'm in a much better place mentally than I was, so the chance of success is increased. As I thought about what I wanted to do to celebrate my birthday I remembered how a friend of mine last year announced on Facebook that she was going to do an act of service for every year (she was turning 49 so she wanted to do 49 acts of service for her birthday). What a great example!! I don't want to copy her exactly, but I want to use the same principle of service. So, for my big 50 birthday, I'm going to make 50 blankets to donate somewhere. I haven't figured out exactly who I'm giving them to, but I found a great sale on fleece right after Christmas and I'm going to spend several months cutting and tying blankets. Instead of dreading my birthday, I'm really excited about it!
I don't tell you this to toot my own horn, or pat myself on the back. I just wanted to share an example of how thinking about others has helped me face the challenge of getting older. A more practical example would be when you go to the grocery store smile at someone specific. A smile doesn't cost any money and is very contagious. Another example is, the other day I was at Target with my son and he suggested we put a dollar into a piggy bank so when someone buys it they will get a surprise. I didn't have a dollar with me, but I plan on going back to do that. I loved the idea! The options are endless! I would love you to share some things you have done to make somebody else's day.
I promise that as you think of ways to make someone smile it will make you smile!!
One of the surest ways of finding joy is to get outside yourself and do something to brighten someone's day. You don't have to do something big and it doesn't have to take a lot of time, but thinking about how you can lighten someone else's load can ease your own burdens.
The year I turned forty was an especially difficult year. I was in the process of climbing out of my depression pit, but the fact that I was turning forty didn't help. My poor husband tried hard to do something nice and thoughtful for me to celebrate such a milestone (which I happen to hit before he did and that didn't help either), but his efforts backfired and I didn't respond well. All I could think about was "poor me - I'm an old lady now!" I dreaded that birthday more than I have ever dreaded anything in my life. I managed to make it through the day without withering away - barely - and to my amazement the day after my birthday was totally fine.
Since then I have learned that difficult times are made easier when I'm not thinking so much about myself. This year as I anticipate turning fifty I decided I need prevent a repeat of that disastrous birthday. For some reason fifty hasn't seemed quite as bad as forty and I'm in a much better place mentally than I was, so the chance of success is increased. As I thought about what I wanted to do to celebrate my birthday I remembered how a friend of mine last year announced on Facebook that she was going to do an act of service for every year (she was turning 49 so she wanted to do 49 acts of service for her birthday). What a great example!! I don't want to copy her exactly, but I want to use the same principle of service. So, for my big 50 birthday, I'm going to make 50 blankets to donate somewhere. I haven't figured out exactly who I'm giving them to, but I found a great sale on fleece right after Christmas and I'm going to spend several months cutting and tying blankets. Instead of dreading my birthday, I'm really excited about it!
I don't tell you this to toot my own horn, or pat myself on the back. I just wanted to share an example of how thinking about others has helped me face the challenge of getting older. A more practical example would be when you go to the grocery store smile at someone specific. A smile doesn't cost any money and is very contagious. Another example is, the other day I was at Target with my son and he suggested we put a dollar into a piggy bank so when someone buys it they will get a surprise. I didn't have a dollar with me, but I plan on going back to do that. I loved the idea! The options are endless! I would love you to share some things you have done to make somebody else's day.
I promise that as you think of ways to make someone smile it will make you smile!!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Y - Yield Your Will and Heart to God
Y - Yield Your Will and Heart to God
In order to yield your will and heart to God you must first believe there is one. God knows what it takes for us to be happy, so if we follow His map we will reach that desired destination. I have always believed that to be true and as I was raising my six small children I was trying to do all the things I was told would bring me joy, yet I found myself having a hard time feeling it. I kept looking for a magic bullet that would all of a sudden fill me with never-ending happiness. The harder I tried the less hope I seemed to find. As I sank deeper and deeper into the abyss I had to hold onto the two things I couldn't deny - first, the fact that I know there is a God and second, I had to REMEMBER that I had felt joy in the past which meant it had to be possible to feel it again.
Getting out of bed had become extremely difficult and I don't think I would have gotten up most days if it hadn't been for the fact that I had six children that depended on me and I had a friend who expected me to go walking with her every morning. Family and friends - what great blessings!!!
As we were walking on a particularly difficult day I told my friend that I just couldn't do it anymore. (How many times do we tell ourselves that? - Too many!!) I felt like I was at the end of my rope and I was having a really hard time hanging on. As I described to her how I saw myself and my situation, a miracle happened. She started telling me how she saw me. We had been walking for about a year so she knew me fairly well and was able to paint a picture of me that I had never seen before.
The miracle was that as she spoke there was a voice in my head which told me that what she was saying was true. What I heard was, "The Meg that she is describing is the Meg that I created and love." It was amazing because I wanted to shout, "well I can BE that Meg." All of a sudden I knew that my biggest problem was that I was trying to be somebody else and that was the root cause of my depression. There was no doubt in my mind at that moment that God knew who I was and loves me just the way I am because He made me that way. My spirit had renewed hope and a determination to be the best Meg I could be.
That day was a game changer for me. My challenges didn't go away, but I could now face them with a knowledge that God had confidence in me. If it was God's will that I should be who I am, then I knew I could do it. I wanted to be the Meg God wanted me to be, not who I imagined everyone else thought I should be. That was doable! What a relief!!
How does this relate to yielding your heart and will to God? I think it is vital to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves. If there isn't, what would all this craziness called the world be for? It's much more comforting to know that there is someone out there who knows you better than you even know yourself. You can trust Him because He created you and will guide you through all life's challenges. He wants you to be happy and have joy, so He will help you find it. We just have to be willing to trust Him with our whole heart. We may not understand why things happen sometimes, but I promise He knows the beginning from the end and will never abandon you. We are the ones who pull away because we get scared. Trust God and you will find the peace and joy you are looking for.
In order to yield your will and heart to God you must first believe there is one. God knows what it takes for us to be happy, so if we follow His map we will reach that desired destination. I have always believed that to be true and as I was raising my six small children I was trying to do all the things I was told would bring me joy, yet I found myself having a hard time feeling it. I kept looking for a magic bullet that would all of a sudden fill me with never-ending happiness. The harder I tried the less hope I seemed to find. As I sank deeper and deeper into the abyss I had to hold onto the two things I couldn't deny - first, the fact that I know there is a God and second, I had to REMEMBER that I had felt joy in the past which meant it had to be possible to feel it again.
Getting out of bed had become extremely difficult and I don't think I would have gotten up most days if it hadn't been for the fact that I had six children that depended on me and I had a friend who expected me to go walking with her every morning. Family and friends - what great blessings!!!
As we were walking on a particularly difficult day I told my friend that I just couldn't do it anymore. (How many times do we tell ourselves that? - Too many!!) I felt like I was at the end of my rope and I was having a really hard time hanging on. As I described to her how I saw myself and my situation, a miracle happened. She started telling me how she saw me. We had been walking for about a year so she knew me fairly well and was able to paint a picture of me that I had never seen before.
The miracle was that as she spoke there was a voice in my head which told me that what she was saying was true. What I heard was, "The Meg that she is describing is the Meg that I created and love." It was amazing because I wanted to shout, "well I can BE that Meg." All of a sudden I knew that my biggest problem was that I was trying to be somebody else and that was the root cause of my depression. There was no doubt in my mind at that moment that God knew who I was and loves me just the way I am because He made me that way. My spirit had renewed hope and a determination to be the best Meg I could be.
That day was a game changer for me. My challenges didn't go away, but I could now face them with a knowledge that God had confidence in me. If it was God's will that I should be who I am, then I knew I could do it. I wanted to be the Meg God wanted me to be, not who I imagined everyone else thought I should be. That was doable! What a relief!!
How does this relate to yielding your heart and will to God? I think it is vital to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves. If there isn't, what would all this craziness called the world be for? It's much more comforting to know that there is someone out there who knows you better than you even know yourself. You can trust Him because He created you and will guide you through all life's challenges. He wants you to be happy and have joy, so He will help you find it. We just have to be willing to trust Him with our whole heart. We may not understand why things happen sometimes, but I promise He knows the beginning from the end and will never abandon you. We are the ones who pull away because we get scared. Trust God and you will find the peace and joy you are looking for.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
The Journey has Begun :)
As we were walking the other day it was pointed out that the first three items of the motto put God first, others second and yourself third. Coincidence or planned? Well it wasn't planned nor do I believe it was coincidence. My daughter later (and without knowing of our conversation) sent this text:
J - Jesus
O - Others
Y - Yourself
I love it!!!
I really appreciate the comments I have gotten about this journey we are on. Together we can keep each other on track :)
J - Jesus
O - Others
Y - Yourself
I love it!!!
I really appreciate the comments I have gotten about this journey we are on. Together we can keep each other on track :)
Sunday, January 12, 2014
You Can Do It! :)
There are times when it seems that there is nothing but negativity surrounding us. One minute you can feel on top of the world and the next you are hit with what seems like a million pieces of burning shrapnel directed right at your heart and all joy and hope seem to disappear.
It has taken more than eleven and a half years of walking an average of about 20 miles a week with a group of dear friends to come up with a formula that can help fight the negative sting and bring joy and hope back despite the challenges all around us. Together we have solved the world's problems time and time again along with cheering each other on through various challenges, heartaches and good times. I wish everyone could have a group as fabulous as mine, but since that is unlikely, I thought it would be important to share some lessons we have learned with whoever is willing to read this blog. The principles that have guided our journey toward joy are spelled out in the motto:
"YOU CAN DO IT! :)"
Y - yield your will and heart to God
O - opportunities to serve/brighten someone's day
U - understand and accept your own strengths and weaknesses
C - create a trustworthy support system
A - act instead of reacting - resist becoming a martyr or victim
N - nice - just be nice
D - don't forget you can do hard things
O - outside every day for at least a few minutes regardless of the weather
I - inspiration - listen to or read something that inspires you
T - think of/do things that make you smile or laugh
It has been said that we are here on earth to have joy. It took me a long time to believe that, but I know from experience that by following these steps your joy and hope will increase!!
Let the journey begin :)
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